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  • Alison M. Rand

The night that changed everything!

I am laying down on an uncomfortable bed that is too short for me. My feet are hanging off the bed. I have a 25 month old child laying on top of me like a blanket and her finger is in my belly button. If I move and her finger comes out of my belly button she will wake instantly. This is my first night as a mom. This night would change the course of my parenting.


This was all so new. I never knew what our first night would look like in China. Would we all sleep together? Would she sleep in a crib? Would we get sleep at all? These were some of the questions I had been thinking about for months. So here we are and she is in our bed and on top of me and making sure I stay by keeping her finger in my belly button.


I knew that in this moment that any parenting ideas I had may be out the window and we would learn together as a family. Love would be at the center and Loved Shapes a Family was born in this moment.


Co-Sleeping. This is something that people seem to love or dislike. I learned very quickly that I would love this idea. Having good sleep was so important for each of us. Having safe sleep for our child was just as important. So we became a family that would co-sleep until she felt that she didn't need that.


As a parent I have certainly felt judged from others for my parenting choices. I always remember that they are coming from their own experience and maybe not coming from a heart-centered approach. Not one person that was giving me advice has every adopted a child. Our child was brought to a new country, hearing a new language, eating new foods, smelling new smells and getting to know new people. This is a lot for a child. We were finding our way at the pace of our child.


I share what has worked for us with others when they ask. I think that is key....when they ask. I also think there is a way you can share that you have had a similar struggle and are open to share what has worked for you in the past. Each child is unique and that is what needs to be brought to the discussion. How does your child learn? How does your child listen? How does your child feel empowered? These are just a few questions I ask another parent that is looking for new tools to try.


Be kind with yourself as you bring heart centered parenting into your home. I have always been one to share with my children what I am focusing on. So they know why I may be doing something different. Some have told me that I talk too much to my children. I have never agreed with those individuals. I am teaching them as we have a conversation. I am giving them understanding why we have to do something. We are in communication. We have less struggles as a family the more we have open communication. We have more understanding. We have more love. My children are just as much a teacher as I am a teacher. They see things from a fresh perspective and they don't have a the baggage that I may have from my own childhood. As I come from a heart-centered approach "I" becomes less and it is more about "us." What works best for us?


Loving with an open heart! Walk through and see the beauty we can create!



Love Shapes a Family!



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Phoenix, AZ, USA

©2020 by Alison M Rand